As the world around us shifts, more and more people are starting to explore their gender identity. Whether you’re just starting to ask questions or have been reflecting for a while, this journey of self-discovery can be exciting and freeing but also a little overwhelming at times. An important thing to remember is you’re not alone, and if you’re not sure where to start, I am hoping this post will help!
What Does It Mean to Explore Your Gender Identity?
Gender identity is how you perceive and experience your gender internally, beyond societal expectations or the sex you were assigned at birth. For some, their gender aligns with those expectations; for others, it doesn’t. Exploring your gender identity means reflecting on who you are at your core and discovering what feels most authentic to you.
Where do I start?
Oftentimes, it can be difficult to know how to start thinking about your identity. What does it mean to truly explore what it means to be ______? I’m hoping to shed some light on some common processes folx go through when examining their identities. Such as:
Questioning how you feel about societal gender norms
Reflecting on moments in your life where you’ve felt discomfort or joy in expressing yourself
Experimenting with names, pronouns, clothing, or other aspects of self-expression
Seeking knowledge and connection with communities who are on similar journeys
Of course I present these ideas with the caveat that humans are incredibly nuanced. What has worked and felt beneficial for some people does not mean it will feel that way for others. Again, there is no right way to engage with your gender.
Starting Your Journey
Reflect Without Judgment
Give yourself permission to explore your thoughts and feelings without rushing to conclusions. Journaling, meditating, or even daydreaming can be great tools for tapping into your inner voice. Ask yourself:
When do I feel most like myself?
Are there aspects of traditional gender roles that feel restrictive or freeing to me?
What excites or scares me about exploring my gender?
When I began thinking about my gender outside of the binaries that existed to me, journaling was an important resource for me. It allowed me to ground my thoughts on a page instead of having them jumbled up in my head.
Educate Yourself
Knowledge can be incredibly empowering. Read books, watch videos, or engage with online communities that discuss gender identity and expression. Learning about the experiences of others can provide insights and help you feel less alone.
Some great starting points for educating yourself are:
Memoirs or articles written by transgender and nonbinary individuals.
For a list of a few good memoirs click here.
Online resources from organizations such as GLAAD, The Trevor Project, or local LGBTQ centers.
Experiment with Expression
Trying out different ways of expressing yourself can be an important part of the process. This can look like experimenting with clothes, hairstyles, makeup, or even trying out different names and pronouns in safe spaces. Expression is all about figuring out what feels authentic to you.
Build Community
Connecting with others can provide valuable support and validation. Consider joining a gender exploration support group (wink,wink), attending events held in queer spaces or that center gender non-confirming folx, or forming online communities. As queer people, community has been and will continue to be our greatest resource.
Talk to a Therapist - hi!
Working with a gender-affirming therapist can offer a safe and supportive space to navigate your emotions, questions, and fears. A therapist can also help you process challenges, such as dealing with societal expectations or unsupportive environments. A therapist can also help remind you that having fear, doubt, and discomfort are normal throughout this journey!
Here are a few reminders to help you navigate hard moments:
Be Patient with Yourself: Self-discovery can be a long process. It’s okay to change your mind, try something new, and evolve over time.
Set Boundaries: Protect your peace by surrounding yourself with supportive people and limiting exposure to invalidating environments when possible and safe to do so.
Celebrate Small Wins: Every step you take, no matter how small, is a step toward living authentically
The Beauty of Self-Discovery
Exploring your gender identity is a powerful journey of self-love and authenticity. It’s a chance to know yourself deeply and live in alignment with who you are.
You’re not alone—there’s a whole community ready to support and celebrate you. If you’re considering starting this journey and want to connect with others, stay tuned for an exciting announcement coming soon to Half Moon!
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